Ecclesiastes 1:9 (NIV84)
9 What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun.
In the 90’s I read an erotic novel series that was written on the premise of some children’s fairy tales. I was 23 then, today I’m 39. At the time they were exhilarating. They fed my desire for erotic imagery. They were exciting, I felt they were allowing me an “appropriate” outlet for my sexual interest and appetite (that I had fed to obesity). It wasn’t hurting anybody, in fact it was nobody else’s business but my own. I was “appreciating” good art…right.
Looking back, it took a while for me to sort through all the stuff I had bathed my mind in. I found out (years later) that my wife was kind of intimidated by some of the stuff that I had exposed myself to. She didn’t understand it and, little did I know at the time, it affected the way I was responding to her. The more I bathed my mind in the stuff the more calloused I grew towards the intimate side of my marriage and the feelings that my wife had. (Remember the harmless stuff that wasn’t hurting anyone else?)
The images that the writing conjured in my mind would take years to process. Why? Because the literature (smut) that I had chosen to read became normal in my eyes. It had all became about me, my desire, my fantastical desires and my irrational expectations on the human body and the body that my wife had entrusted me through the vow of marriage.
Some of you are racking all of this up to a theory and the attempt for another “preacher” to control society or other people by placing their pleasure off limits…blah, blah, blah.
However, there is not a theory here. I have lived through the damage that I had done with my own self navigated exposure to literature, images and media that were not in the least bit created to improve my life or the life I have with my wife.
My marriage survived and is thriving now. I’ll spare you the details because they are NSFW, private and would do no good for you to read because what I live in now is a GIFT that God has given my wife and I. It’s not FOR YOU. It’s to be celebrated, used as a testimony but not to be waved around in detail because it is OUR gift. (Would you want to share my toothbrush with me?…lol)
50 Shades of Grey, Magic Mike (there was once a movie called Showgirls that was about the same product) and all the other erotica that permeates our market aren’t new. In fact, they are quite boring because there is simply nothing “new” in any of them. (One reason I don’t need to read or watch them).
Since my “rebirth” and the renewal of my marriage, by the renewing of my mind through Scripture and the Holy Spirit’s guidance there is something NEW going on in the relationship with my wife. Something NEW daily and nightly. I again say, THAT is the gift that God has given us…
We have found pleasure in realizing that our individual fantasies and desires are not what grows a relationship, but our becoming one is. We have found pleasure we were not aware of and didn’t know existed while we were chasing all of the books, movies, music that was wrapped up in pretty paper, promotions and hype. What we were told by the masses was boring. What we have discovered IS amazing.
The message is there’s nothing new under the sun. Perhaps this has caused some confusion. Let me explain:
There is nothing new about satan and his powers of darkness passing off lies for the truth.
There is nothing new about God renewing the minds of people who follow and submit to Him as Lord and Savior.
There is nothing new about the masses finding emptiness in the lies that the masses tell them will give them happiness.
There is nothing new about God fixing lives.
There is nothing new about lives self destructing when pleasure is their ultimate goal.
There is nothing new about God repairing marriages.
There is nothing new about pornography and impurity destroying relationships.
There is nothing new about Jesus doing NEW things in marriages, the “new thing” is what will He do in YOURS?