Silence is golden, unless silence comes from the doldrums.
I have been virtually silent for several months. Facebook, relatively quiet. Twitter, very little to say. Becoming a Follower, I stopped moving but…God didn’t stop leading.
The past few months of my life have been filled with all kinds of cruddy stuff. I stopped taking care of myself. I got behind in my commitments. I found myself struggling in my personal prayer and devotional life. I was struggling against depression, which was winning. I felt myself slipping away. I put down good habits. I picked up bad habits. I started to see a glimpse of the hideous guy I used to be. (That clarity didn’t help. It made the depression worse.) It was clear…I had fallen down. Flat. On my face. Broken faced. Broken spirit. Angry. Depressed. Hopeful. Cynical.
All the while, I kept hearing a couple of Scripture whispered in my ear. “Guard your heart for it’s the well spring of life.” Proverb 4:23 and “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18.
I can’t tell you that either of them made sense to me during this time. Nonetheless, I heard them reverberating through my heart. During my time in the doldrums I made a lot of mistakes. I found myself thinking things I am not proud I thought. I even acted in ways that were not acceptable on any scale. Yet, I continued hearing these two Scriptures echoing through my head, my heart.
Finding Fresh Water
I spent last week at Catalyst in Atlanta Georgia. I went to a Catalyst Lab called Finding Fresh Water, led by David Crowder. During this lab Crowder was asked what he does, where he goes when his creativity seems gone. Without a hesitation he said, “We have the Old Testament. If you feel like you’ve been led into the desert, don’t panic. God has always provided water when he led people there.”
“If you feel like you’ve been led into the desert, don’t panic. God has always provided water when he led people there.”
I am convinced that God will lead us to freshwater. Whether creatively, emotionally or spiritually. You may be dry when you get there, but you will not be dead. No matter how you feel. No matter what your heart tells you. God has promised He is near the broken hearted.
In my life I have chosen to go down many roads that Jesus didn’t lead me down.
I have never found myself anywhere He wasn’t present.
I have never found myself anywhere He wasn’t willing to reach people that were around me.
I have never found myself anywhere He wasn’t willing to shine in or through me.
I have never found myself anywhere He isn’t willing to lead me out of.
I have never found myself alone.
This is just part of my story as I become a follower…again.
My story isn’t over. Neither is yours.
Whether it’s the first time, or the 1,000,000,000 time.
Make the decision to follow Jesus. Where He is leading is far better than where you are.
Make the decision to follow Him. He will lead you to freshwater.
My wonder is once again awakened.